God didn't make a way for me to stay home. God made it abundantly clear that camp is where I needed to be. So I went to camp. I remained obedient, because out of obedience, God reveals himself.
I found out on Sunday that Grandmother went back into the hospice home on Friday...
This morning, as I got home, my dad said that they were going to plan Grandmother's funeral today. I didn't have to go. It probably wasn't my place to go, but... I have been here to experience it all and I wanted nothing more than to be a part of it. For that, I'm extremely thankful.
I prayed for peace. I prayed for peace and obedience. I prayed that my lively, funny, crazy, loving Grandmother would go be with the Lord. Even though this will hurt when she is gone, she is promised a new life in Jesus. One where she will be singing, dancing, playing tricks, laughing, eating peanut butter until she explodes, and will no longer be in any pain... that. that is all the peace I need. I know my Grandmother loved me.
About a year ago I had one of the most productive and eye opening Campaigners (YL Bible study) when we talked about being blessed. Which is a super overused word in the christian language. You are "Blessed" when you go through a hard time because of how God brought you through it. You are not "Blessed" because of all the good things you have at a high point in your life, So at camp this week I was reminded of how truly blessed I have been to know my grandmother. I'm reminded in this time of sadness and hurt and frankly, anger... that I am indeed blessed by the most High God to give me the world's greatest grandmother who loved me with every ounce of life she had.
I want to end this really sad post with some funny stories from some of my YoungLife girls this week who were also blessed to know my grandmother just a little bit...
Audrey and I were planning a going away party for another one of our YL girls back in December. My grandmother seemed to always enjoy doing laundry. While Audrey and I were making a cake, my grandmother walked into the kitchen where Audrey and I were decorating Alli's cake, holding up this pair of bleached underwear! Yes, this is correct. She had a pair of bleached underwear in her hands. She began to explain that she couldn't get her underwear as clean as she wanted them, so she soaked a pair in bleach to see what would happen. They came out tye-dyed and splotched, and all sorts of crazy looking!!! I laughed first, Audrey didn't know what was going on, and grandmother just laughed. She had to sit down and laugh. She belly laughed over bleaching her undies!
We sat around this week talking about my Grandmother, because her impact is on so much more than just us. My YL girls loved coming over here to see her. They loved hearing her stories, they loved the way she and I interacted. She loved me and supported my doing YL. So I had a peace about leaving. Now that I am home, I have a peace about everything.
Everything will be okay.
John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid"
Today... We planned her funeral. Today... I have peace.
